Okay? You’ve been warned.
My grandmother (who I love) has sent Abigail many lovely things – clothes and sippy cups and stuffed animals, and we are so grateful. She has also sent two dolls that I have thus far refused to give to Abby. One was blond and another was bald; both were blue-eyed. I didn’t get rid of the dolls because they were Caucasian, of course; I got rid of them because they were scary beyond all reason, and came with small choking-hazard accessories. But I confess, a little part of me was bothered by the fact that neither of the dolls looked remotely like Abigail.
It’s not that I think Abby should play exclusively with dolls that look like her. But I remember that I was given a whole slew of dolls as a kid, and of course they were all Caucasian-looking, with some shade of blond hair. Several of my friends collected those ridiculously expensive American Girl dolls, and I paged through a catalogue once and couldn’t find a single one who looked like me. My ambiguously ethnic friend-of-Barbie Mattel doll had black hair, olive skin, and, so help me, purple eyes. PURPLE EYES. Even if you’re not making a specifically “Asian” doll, you might think that, I don’t know, brown eyes might appeal to a larger demographic than purple, am I right?
Finally, I asked for “a dolly who looks like me,” and my parents and I searched every toy store in town. Lots of black and white baby dolls, but no Asian ones. They had to special-order one for me, and it arrived just in time for Christmas. (I drew up adoption papers, naturally, and named her Michelle.)
This was more than twenty years ago, and today it’s not much easier to find Asian baby dolls at the store, despite the growing Asian-American population. I’m not saying the dearth of reasonably priced, little-kid-safe dolls who look like me – or my daughter – is some horrible injustice, to be compared with real prejudice. But it is rather annoying, not to mention one more thing that contributes to the already present feeling of not-belonging that some little kids are conscious of from a very early age. (The same thing used to happen when I turned on the television and, for years on end, never saw a single Asian actor or actress in a starring role. Honestly, it’s not much better now. You may think I’m being oversensitive, but observant kids notice these things.)
Maybe the doll thing is no great loss, though. If I’m totally honest, I have to admit that I’m ambivalent about dolls in general. It seems kind of weird – early domestic training for your daughter who’s still practically a baby herself? That’s all well and good, but in that case, why don’t we give dolls to little boys, too, so they can imitate their moms and dads?
asian doll list from a longlived online toy store:
http://www.liveandlearn.com/asiandollslist.html
this includes the very popular corolle asian dolls- so cute
and in defense of american girl they now have asian babies (i think they’ve had this since they started having babies at all), an asian historical doll and an asian “just like you” doll:
the baby:
http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/html/ProductPage.jsf/itemId/140653/itemType/TOY/webTemplateId/3/uniqueId/95/saleGroupId/129
the historical:
http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/html/ProductPage.jsf/itemId/1094/itemType/DISPLAYGROUP/webTemplateId/3/uniqueId/488/saleGroupId/629
the just like you:
http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/html/ProductPage.jsf/itemId/1058/itemType/DISPLAYGROUP/webTemplateId/3/uniqueId/86/saleGroupId/128
this post is brought to you by the exdollstoreworker, americangirl loving, mary
oh yes and i LOVE that lucy is really suddenly getting into doll play. already! at 17 months! i’m beyond delighted (even if it’s super girly and domesticate and all that.. .i guess i’m just okay with that, especially since it’s too sweet to see her doing it!)
i typed a bunch of stuff about the sensitivities involved in purchasing ethic dolls for ethnic babies, but my internet ate it…and it’s lunch time. i’ll save that conversation for later and leave you with these links — hope you find something cute!
Thanks for the links, Mary!
I’m really not ANTI-doll, just not a huge fan. From an email I just wrote to Abby’s godmother on the same subject:
I guess I don’t have a terribly strong opinion on dolls. I find them a little creepy in the horror-story, looks-like-it’s-alive-but-isn’t way. And then I also find them a bit insidious in the future-domestic-training way, and it’s not as if they are genuinely educational – a kid learns far more about responsibility and caring for someone else by having a pet as opposed to an inanimate object that looks almost human.
But I had dolls, and a lot of other girls do too, and it’s not a hill I’m willing to die on or anything. As long as the doll is tasteful and cute and doesn’t scare me when the lights are off, I’m okay with Abby having it.
Ellie got a Dapper Dan doll at Christmas. Mind you, she was approximately 4 months old and had no use for the thing. Henry, however, likes him because he is a “man” and has “boo-tons” on his jacket and a frog in his pocket. It would have made much more sense, agewise, to give my toddler the doll since it’s a toy that helps fine motor skills development; something he’s already working on in dressing himself. But he’s a boy, so he got a truck. Which he equally enjoys
I kind of like the purple eyes though. I think technically that makes ethnically-ambiguous people magic folk.
“Boo-tons” made me laugh – too cute. I’ve seen those Dapper Dan dolls. Just because I’m annoying like that, I just did a search for “Asian Dapper Dan doll,” and found these. meh.
Hey, Abby will be ethnically ambiguous! If her eyes ever turn purple suddenly, I’ll be on the lookout for her Hogwarts letter.
The only doll I remember owning, as a toddler, was a white baby doll with dark hair. I thought Sonia Manzano was the most beautiful woman in the world, so I ignored the doll’s pale complexion and named her Maria, after my favorite Sesame Street character.
I guess lots of kids have had to pretend that their white dolls were a different color.
Other than Maria, I never really liked dolls as a child. My favorite toys were stuffed animals (especially my monkeys and pig), Legos, and Star Wars action figures. And I preferred tree houses to doll houses. I’m sure this is no surprise to anyone who knows me.
Nikki asks: “why don’t we give dolls to little boys, too, so they can imitate their moms and dads?”
This is the subject of the song “William’s Doll” (performed by Alan Alda & Marlo Thomas) on my favorite childhood record, “Free To Be… You And Me.” William’s grandma is the only one who doesn’t try to “fix” his desire for a doll. Grandma says, “William wants a doll so when he has a baby someday he’ll know…. how to care for his baby as every good father should learn to do.”
But I agree that pets are better.
Maria was my favorite Sesame Street character too! (Though if there’d been an Asian on the show back when I watched, she might not have been.) I still remember when Maria and Luis got married. It took me years to accept that they were not, in fact, married in real life.
I wasn’t a big fan of dolls, either – I also loved stuffed animals, and our real dogs and cats, of course – but I did enjoy dollhouses. My grandpa made one for me, and then I happened to win two other fancy ones in raffles. What I really loved was collecting small, realistic-looking, handcrafted furniture and other things for the houses – I didn’t actually have any dolls. I just liked the tiny things that looked so real.
Those “Free to Be…” collections are all great. I’ll have to get them for Abby someday.
I owned a doll house, but it served as an indoor base for Star Wars & G.I. Joe scenarios rather than anything domestic. I did think that miniature, realistic furniture was cool, though.