On Tuesday The Atlantic published my essay on how reuniting with my birth family and meeting my sister changed the way I think about adoption and family:
My sister was at my side when I met our father in 2010, and she was and still is the bridge between us–the first person that made me feel I had a place, strange and ill defined though it may be, in the family. Now that I have met and talked with them, it is far more difficult to distinguish between “birth family” and “adoptive family” and “real family”–so I no longer try. Instead, when I talk and write about adoption, I always emphasize that my definition of family has expanded and evolved since my reunion, and since having children of my own.
My sister and I may have a different sort of family than that of siblings who grew up together, but we are no less a family for those decades of separation. Her story, and mine, are only two out of countless adoptee and birth family perspectives that ought to play a more prominent role in the wider discussion of adoption–its benefits, its losses, its truths, its nuances–within our culture.
Read the rest here at TheAtlantic.com.